On a different, sexier, and sociopolitical note…

Seriously? People are upset because a Lebanese-American from Michigan won the Miss America pageant?

First, beauty pageants are inherently a waste of time, celebrating a combination of the mere happenstance of genetics and self-crippling dietary practices with meager lip service to higher ideals such as intelligence, community impact and personal accomplishment. They force upon a generation of women a false standard of beauty and sexuality while pretending that it’s all good, clean fun in the name of giving girls “inspiration,” when what they mean by “inspiration” is “inspired to spend as much lucre as possible on makeup, diet programs and psychiatric aid to overcome a media-inflicted sense of self-loathing for not Living Up to society’s ideals.”

Second, past all that, Rima Fakih is a good old fashioned Christian capitalist, with a bachelor’s in economics, a minor in Business Administration, and is smoking hot oh my god.

It’s not affirmative action, you hyperconservative dimwits! It’s not an attempt to pass Shariah law (which has nothing at all to say about the legal fiction of a corporate identity anyhow, making her choice of career a bit of an odd one for a fundie) through a pretty face. It’s just an unbelievably gorgeous women of significant accomplishment strutting her amazing stuff!


Rima Fakih


Look at her, dammit! That’s not a scary fundamentalist Muslim out to steal your precious bodi- …wrong sarcastic pop culture reference. Let’s try that again. That’s no burqa-clad suicide bomber! That’s no threat to anybody but some poor fool standing in the way between her and a management position in some big-shot company! She’s in a bikini for goddess’s sake – and if there’s anything that the terrorists don’t like at all, not one bit, it’s the American cultural decadence that allows women of any shade or ethnic origin to flaunt their impressively fit assets around like that.

So screw you, Debbie Schlussel, for your utterly unsupported, unresearched and hyperbolic claims against this young and stunningly beautiful woman.  Screw you for casting doubt upon this proof that the American Dream of success and recognition just sometimes comes true, even in a cesspit of pop culture amorality that defines the concept of a beauty pageant.

And screw the rest of you rednecks for your racebaiting, fearmongering hatred and jealousy over the fact that, for once, a Miss America winner has a natural tan.


~ by Gonzo Mehum on May 18, 2010.

One Response to “On a different, sexier, and sociopolitical note…”

  1. I wondered whether that would trip a trigger somewhere. *hat tip* There’s got to be some useful thing in there about the lengths of rationalization and conspiracy someone will go to just to make sure their worldview isn’t disturbed by the intrusion of reality.

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